On September 1st, 2015, my family – me, my husband, 3-year-old daughter, and sweet old dog – crossed the US-Mexico border in our ancient Toyota 4Runner for what we thought would be a year-long adventure – a break from our busy lives as working parents in Colorado. We had visions of learning to surf, improving our Spanish, and enjoying lazy days on the beach.

We were headed to the town of Chacala, Nayarit – a small seaside village that a friend told us was a “paradise” with a “magical” preschool. We hadn’t stepped foot in Chacala before, but had visited nearby towns a few times. 

We took the slow road to get there – spending two months traveling the Baja Peninsula before landing in Chacala. Our friend was right – it truly was a paradise at the time, and the school more than magical. We ended up staying 10 years and becoming legal permanent residents. During that time, we traveled extensively throughout Mexico, falling deeper in love with the country with every place we visited. Last year, we moved to Puerto Vallarta for our daughter to attend a bigger school. We still spend occasional weekends in Chacala and explore the country as much as we can.

As we mark our 11th anniversary living in Mexico, I find myself reflecting on how the experience has shaped me. When I arrived in 2015, I was solidly in my 40s. I thought I knew myself pretty well and was mostly fully formed. But it’s amazing how much a person can change in midlife, and how much our surroundings influence who we become. 

Here are some of the ways Mexico has changed me:

Mexico made me nicer.

In a country where people routinely greet you when passing by, stand up to meet you, kiss your cheek when saying hello and goodbye, wish you well when you leave, say ‘have a great meal’ when you are eating, and invite you over even if you just met, how can you not become a nicer person? Mexicans are just so damn nice, and genuinely so. It doesn’t matter the person’s age. I’ve been blown away at how kind and respectful Mexican teenagers and young people are with adults. 

After living here over a decade, I now routinely say buenos días (or tardes or noches) to the people I pass on the street, kiss the cheek of someone I just met, wish strangers “buen provecho” at restaurants, and say “que te vaya bien” when departing, stand when someone comes into the room, and host as many gatherings as possible. I mean, I’ve always been pretty nice, but not this nice. Thank you, Mexico, for showing me how to be a nicer human.

Mexico made me more creative and resourceful.

Living in Mexico, you are surrounded by artists, makers, and fixers of things. Creativity and resourcefulness are ingrained in the Mexican culture. Just look at the country’s muralist and folk art tradition, incredible food, and ability to mexicanada (the ability to fix or make things with creativity, ingenuity, and a little bit of humor and improvisation), and you get an idea. 

Since moving here, I have more artist friends than ever before. I know more people who can fix just about anything – air conditioners, washing machines, upholstery, shoes – you name it. And it seems like every other household is a part-time restaurant, offering everything from tamales to carnitas to pasteles made from scratch.

Living in Chacala far from big-box grocery stores, I had to get creative in the kitchen. I’ve learned how to make homemade pickles, hummus, veggie burgers, falafel, curry paste, and more – not because I was curious, but because there was no other way to get these vegetarian staples unless I wanted to drive two hours to Puerto Vallarta (and still not find falafel mix). 

I also got back into writing – a pastime I used to do more regularly, but had fallen by the wayside with the business of life in Colorado. Inspired by my travels throughout Mexico, I started blogging and contributing to Mexico News Daily. I also learned to play the ukulele and formed a COVID-era jam band with two other moms called the Ukuladies. 

Living in a culture that values and practices art and creative problem solving has inspired me to be more creative and resourceful myself.  

Mexico made me more relaxed about time.

I came to this country used to people and events being on time. Americans see it as a sign of respect to show up when they say they will and not “waste” anyone else’s time. Maybe it’s because we make ourselves so busy, think we are so special, or believe our time is so short and precious, that we have this obsession with being on time. But here in Mexico, being on time is not what’s most important; it’s how you spend your time. 

Long, relaxed lunches are the norm. Social gatherings that go late into the night are to be expected. Celebrations are large and long and done to the max of whatever your budget and imagination allow. Simply put: Mexicans don’t rush the things that matter. It might make someone late or a function start later, but it’s not a sign of disrespect. I’ve learned over the years not to obsess about timeliness, give people more grace, and know that the person running “late” will show up eventually and we’ll end up engaged in a beautiful conversation late into the night. 

Mexico made me more joyful.

Mexicans enjoy the heck out of life. There is a general attitude that today is the only day that’s guaranteed, so why not savor the best parts of it – a good cup of coffee, a delicious meal, a beautiful sunset. “¡Qué rico!” (literally: how rich!) is a phrase you hear often to describe just about every delicious, enjoyable, beautiful experience. (A friend recently taught me a new trending phrase that’s similar: Qué agusticidad). 

Mexicans don’t delay celebrations or holidays either. If a holiday falls in the middle of the week, that’s the day schools and businesses are closed. Not like in the USA, where we pick the closest Monday or Friday to celebrate most national holidays, because it’s more “convenient”. For example, in Mexico, Mother’s Day is always on May 10, regardless of whether it falls on a Sunday or not. Labor Day is always May 1, which isn’t always a Monday. If your kid’s birthday is in the middle of the week, you can be damn sure that pastel and piñata are happening that afternoon. 

Mexico has taught me to celebrate life’s beautiful moments when they happen, no matter how small they seem. And that makes for a more joyful existence.

After 11 years in Mexico, the country and its people have shaped and changed me in profound ways I will forever be grateful for, and I look forward to spending many, many more years in this beautiful country. 

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